The impact of a smile or a hug.

For some time this bit of poetry has meant alot for me during my upbringing and my philosofy of life.

"A smile can change one's day
an hug can change one's life"

Ofcourse the basic of this "poetry" is in swedish my native language so it might not translate that well but its its a good way to look at life and how you interact with your enviroment and the people around you.

This is it for this ninja update =)

The Days fly past

Not long ago I started work at this smaller gamedeveloping company atleast it dosntfeel long ago. But counting the time its almost been 2 years soon. And finnely getting settled with everything and getting started again on smaller home projects for fun and personal development its kinda fun to see how much one has grown since last time one was developing projects at home =) Stuff one though was trublesum before one can just breeze through nowdays. But I still belive the best advice I can give to anyone is KISS(Keep It Simple, Stupid). There is seldome any real gain or advantage's to make somthing more advanced from the beginning becouse the rules of the game always are in movement.

Anyway not óther then working eating sleeping I try to rest my body and mind becouse its in the hardest phase of any gamedeveloping cycle we are in at the moment. Also i think that i am party searching for my zen state/enviroment or somthing.

Meh what should one write to become intresting or have people really read your blog? I dont have the time or effort to blog about daily news or the latest political debates or stuff like that. Noir am I an cute girl who can post tons of pics of my self and get readers because of that. g
Ant ideas or suggestions?

I had once a more development oriented blog a bit successfull due to me writing arguments and small essays about user suggestions each week. Was kinda fun but died quite fast too. due to not gaining to much readers from start.

Anyone who would dare suggest next weeks topic to me? Ill write just about anyting.

Meh I am getting tierd so I am off to sleep. Take care people.
-Blakhouse

Back again but for how long?

An so we are back at blogging but for how long this time? It always seem to slip out of my hands in after a while. Loosing interest but why? the point of this blog is for my own good and to keep track of my self!. Not to cater the masses or anything like that.

Anyway i am on a diet again. Haivng a hard time keepting to them. But since my major weight problem is due to weight i need to control my food intake / candy intake and thats not an easy thing to do. Also I have to eat more less at each time but 2-3 more meals a day. Becouse then your bloodsuger levels are more stable and your sweettooth is a bit less of a problem.

Also my panfluting isnt going so well basically no practice since last time I poster here in this blog. Main problem is really the notes and what note is what pipe but a very nice panpipe salesman in us helped me with a start atleast.

Meh feels like my life is so "meh" right now. Not sure what to do with it. = ( Wish stuff could be a bit better.


Meh Meh I feel like a nobody. I mean this other weekend i went to a party and i didnt really have the social skills to interact with anyone and i am not intresting enough for others to make contact. And even if i do. All i have to talk about is work and food basically. Also mothers day is comming up quite fast. =( Bad memories comes around.

Hope she has an good afterlife. And hope she know's me and my brothers are well.
I miss her =(

-Blakhouse

Meh I suck at updating blogs =/

Been working my ass of past few weeks. Great fun but you can feel the workload on your body. Also during this heavy workload I some how cougth a cold flying about at work and it knocked me out cold. Been having fever dream and stuff and now I am resistant to even try to sleep again becouse I always have nightmares when I am sick.

We at work also had a community even for thouse intrested in our product was great fun. 240 people including the people from work played in a free roll Poker tournament. I am not the brightest poker player out there so I was gone quite fast ended up 138th place. I blame the cold!!! =)

Also been to the health care for an health checkup no real danger from my overweight it seems though I was at the limit for my body can take and was sent on to an health and life style specialist so sort out my life an habbits. I guess there will have to be quite alot of changess to be done. Hopefully it will be stuff I can handle. Else it will be very very very hard for me to accept the changes even if I must due to my health.

Meh also having problems to stay motivated with the panfluting due to not having any notes or an idea what note each pipe is. Kinda hard to figure that out since I am a total noob at music scores and stuff.

I guess I am off. I am writing this of my cute little pink Acer Aspire One in bed. Perfect computer for stuff like this or smaller programming tasks and stuffs.

Over and out.

New Week

All fun and happy about a new week. And this week began with an visit to the local health center for some ekg and blood pressure and while the doctor I was assigned didnt talk my native language very good his assistant / doctor trainee did and was pleasant to talk to. Anway wasnt what I expected though tomorrow morning I will have to to back and thay will drain me of blood to test it for loads of stuff like blood fats and such. Hopefully we can get some results and start me on my new course for taking care of my self. It will probobly be though and panfull but it needs to be done.


The day is suffuring its end and I think ill head for bed. Quite a long day and an other long one will follow tomorrow.

Over and out

Remind me to post more intresting stuffs in this blog will you=)

It aint easy =(

Heh it aint easy to find the time and a topic for each post and sometimes there isnt just enought time. I prefer to be alone when I write this blog and thus dosnt have much alone time nither.

Today I am posting from pinky. Pinky is my new 8.9" laptop, acer aspire one 150. I am finding it very pleasent machine. It is light just around 1kg and large enough keyboard to not have trouble typing on. As well as having a very sharp screen for viewing most kinds of digitalised video.Though havnt tried anything at 720p or 1080p but at thouse sizes the screen cant really view the video fully since its only at 1024*600 in resolution. But I like it, fills my need and just using it for small we development and some notetaking. Fun part is that its still way better then the laptop I was using when I went to programming school, and that one I got 2004.

Hah when i think about it its 5 years ago and apparently I have been working as a proffesional game developer now for almost two years kinda impressiv. Heh time flies by when you are having fun =)

Nah this has to be it for today. Take care folks.

Age, Birthdays and Pinky

Yesterday I turned 25 and I felt the age rushing over me. I had to host my own party for the family for the first time ever. Before my mother passed away she was the party host and always had so much ideas and such. I tried my best and most of my close relatives came and we had some cookies and pastry along with a cake of cream chocolate and meringue. Got some nice stuff including a framed picture of my mom. Kinda took the edge of me and I cried a bit =(. Miss her so.
Also got two boardgames that i will try to play soonish maby like next weekend or so. The whole thing lasted for like 3 hours or so. Then I played computer game all evening long and took it easy.

Been stressfull around here latly and kinda needed the whole take it easy and stare at a wall kind of thing. But with birthday partyand such it wouldnt be easy. But it turned out to be less then i though so ill try to rest and focus again.

Need to get my focus back regarding my goals around weightloss and also regarding my general health. Apparently I currently have a high blood-pressure so I really need to start taking care of me. But its hard since it involves totally changing my lifestyle and it will be really hard to not fall back into old habbits. But I am also afraid, really afraid of what is happening I am not sure how to respond to it and what to do. Beeing afraid just feeds the stress too. Kinda feel like just dissappearing from here from now from pain and more pain. Also one of the things that stresses me is the thoughs about future and what will happend if I loose my work or if my insurance wont cover stuff and so on. I am not high on cash. Everythign is so expensiv. But hopefully stuff will go better when I a raise at work. It will probobly help a ton.

The panflute practice seems to give some results. I can now produce almost all notes, still needs loads of work to make them clear but the higher notes was so hard to play at the start.

Weight isnt going well at all. Pizza and the birthday cookies and cake aint the best medecine for it. But I will fight to gather my self again and continue working. Because I rather see this as a setback then a loss.

Fighto Fighto!! ( *squeaky japanse voice* )

ow almost forgot pinky
Pinky is my new netbook. A pink Acer aspire one 150. Like it very much so far. feels so much bigger then one would think when you are writing on it. Been doing some php and homepage development today seems to work just fine. Also no problems accessing my local wireless net!! =)
Though it seems a bit hard to get it to work dual boot with debian linux on the sdhc card. Would be wonderfull if i got it to work but it dosnt seem to like it.