Yesterday I turned 25 and I felt the age rushing over me. I had to host my own party for the family for the first time ever. Before my mother passed away she was the party host and always had so much ideas and such. I tried my best and most of my close relatives came and we had some cookies and pastry along with a cake of cream chocolate and meringue. Got some nice stuff including a framed picture of my mom. Kinda took the edge of me and I cried a bit =(. Miss her so.
Also got two boardgames that i will try to play soonish maby like next weekend or so. The whole thing lasted for like 3 hours or so. Then I played computer game all evening long and took it easy.
Been stressfull around here latly and kinda needed the whole take it easy and stare at a wall kind of thing. But with birthday partyand such it wouldnt be easy. But it turned out to be less then i though so ill try to rest and focus again.
Need to get my focus back regarding my goals around weightloss and also regarding my general health. Apparently I currently have a high blood-pressure so I really need to start taking care of me. But its hard since it involves totally changing my lifestyle and it will be really hard to not fall back into old habbits. But I am also afraid, really afraid of what is happening I am not sure how to respond to it and what to do. Beeing afraid just feeds the stress too. Kinda feel like just dissappearing from here from now from pain and more pain. Also one of the things that stresses me is the thoughs about future and what will happend if I loose my work or if my insurance wont cover stuff and so on. I am not high on cash. Everythign is so expensiv. But hopefully stuff will go better when I a raise at work. It will probobly help a ton.
The panflute practice seems to give some results. I can now produce almost all notes, still needs loads of work to make them clear but the higher notes was so hard to play at the start.
Weight isnt going well at all. Pizza and the birthday cookies and cake aint the best medecine for it. But I will fight to gather my self again and continue working. Because I rather see this as a setback then a loss.
Fighto Fighto!! ( *squeaky japanse voice* )
ow almost forgot pinky
Pinky is my new netbook. A pink Acer aspire one 150. Like it very much so far. feels so much bigger then one would think when you are writing on it. Been doing some php and homepage development today seems to work just fine. Also no problems accessing my local wireless net!! =)
Though it seems a bit hard to get it to work dual boot with debian linux on the sdhc card. Would be wonderfull if i got it to work but it dosnt seem to like it.