Sunday, August 16, 2009

Two Point Zero

Meh failed TWICE last week. Drank a total of 3 liters of diet pepsi witch is not good.
Man old habits are a hard to turn away. This whole day has been a fight between my body's thirst for something sweet and my self saying now. I mean the "thirst" is so great sometimes that you are willing to just do about anything including walking 6km to and from a store to get what you want. Not that i did but i was prepared for it. But for today my willpower has won!

Been to two more Fitness Box training sessions. Great fun but very very exhausting. Each time i go there i know what is to be expected and is almost turned away. But its still fun and such it has two sides the exhausting part and the fun part. Heh though the exhausting part is really nice once you are done but the way there heh just saying OMG for it!! =)

Anyway a new week and new fights ahead of me.

-Blakhouse

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Change comes from within!

Its true its all in your head or in this case my head.
Anyone can change some have it more easy then others.

What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? what do you want to do with your life?
All these questions food for brain. But unless you do something about them
Though will never become action.

About two weeks ago i said to my self "steel yourself because we/I are to change"
And said and done I started to change my self. No more illusions of just another weekend or
just this time too. Although the change I made isn't one of the most significant i can and will be making it still one that is hard and hearth felt.

Someday soon I will write down the points I want to /need to / intend to change about my self in bullet point form.

But fornow get going with some weekly training and removing the diet soda from my life has been the first changes. Not drinking coffine in any other way has made these two first week quite heavy. But so far so good. Water water water has beeen the replacement for it!

Also really looking forward to the next session of fitness boxing. Kinda liking the whole fitness world. No need to become a body builder just healthy fit and have a visually appealing body.
Seeing a fit women in training top and shorts/skirt/training pants or whatever with hints on some abs or biceps brings some really nice view. Though don't misunderstand me now, my training of fitness boxing has nothing with looking at attractive women, But more having a mixed body training that is also fun to do. And getting into training mode sets my focus fully to my training trying to really learn the motion and movements of my body to understand my body better. Its a really cool sensation thinking of all complex muscle movement needed to drive a punch home straight into the punching bag with full force. Its a great feeling too.

-Blakhouse on the road to a fitter life with more adventures!!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Geohashing Adventure

A few days ago me and a good friend decided we should go exploring with xkcd Geohashing and
said and done we went of to our adventure.

Todays Generated Location was
Lat: 55.564584
Long: 13.452741
At least according to the geohash app on Iphone =)
all pictures can be found here.

Preparation
We basically had no idea what we were in for so for my self i just packed a video camera documentation is important =)
while my friend actually had a backpack with some gear like 1l water. Both were clad in shorts and t shirt

Starting out
Once i picked up my good friend we headed out. Wen we got closer to the location we started to look for a
place to park and get set so we picked a random parking spot along the way. Park checking the local area
map posted on a sign. to see if we could get our heading and see if it was worth driving a bit more or just
stay put. After some trixing as well as finding out that my iphone dosent support Lattitude Longitude coordinates
as destination ( kinda disappointing ) we got around to using a normal car gps as well as a hand held gps
my friend was carrying with him. we also saw that we would not drive any further so we took our stuff and
and started walking.

Road end
There was a really nice road a "wood workers" road we followed because it lead somewhat close to our destination.
My friend A had taken the opportunity of waiting for me to check out the finish location and during our
walk along the road and said there would be a swamp kinda close by the finish location and the road also ended at the swamp.
Anyway after maby 20 -30 min we arrived at the end of the road. Since the forest roof had been kinda dense we
had some trouble getting the gps working but at the roads end we were at a clearing. And check our coordinates.
And jackpot we had just 180 meters left to the hash spot. But unfortunately it was on the other side of the grassland swamp.

#Note Along this road we also saw our first Deer. A spotted it a good while before i did. never got the camera up
i moved to pick up the camera and apparently it saw that we had spotted it and rand off.


The streams
So we looking out from the clearing we saw that approximately 180 meters was just on the other side of the swamp and
began looking for a way around and saw that it would be quite possible to reach it by taking the path along the swamp.
So we we began venturing off the road into the "wild".
Once we began walking off the beaten track we started noticing tons and tons of woodland ants making highways through
the grass buzzeling about. kinda cool how such a small creature can create such an highway for their work.
And just a few hundred meters in we met our first obstacle a medium sized stream. to deep and wide for us to
cross with our current gear. But lucky enough there was a really old bridge someone built probably 10 year ago or something
for hitchhikers it was still overgrown with nettles and other stuff. And here we also got our first "injury" i got burnt
on a nettle and it still hurts a quite a few hours ago heh =). Passed the bridge we were into a dense pine forest
were most of the lower branches as dried up and died so it was easy to traverse. we followed the shore of the swamp
and got into some denser lower vegetation but there was a strange path through it. Following the small path becouse it lead
the same way we were going it ended up in an other stream. And tons of pig tracks in the mud by the water.
This stream was smaller then the last and not as deep so a bit of wood and two rocks made a nice crossing. No injuries here

#Note Wild pigs or boar is quite common in our grid and they can be dangerous. But it was early afternoon still and they are
usually night active and such we didnt see any danger just took it a bit easier moving about. We also saw a second deer
at the early part of the "streams chapter" =)

Finnish
On the other side we continued our journey. We ran into some denser lower vegetation and decided to walk around those too.
At this point we had only about 47 meters to the hash location but still out in the swamp. so we walked up a bit to higher
ground to see if there was a better path. And we found a bit better path not much we also found good sticks to use as walking
sticks. It kinda helped us quite alot on the later parts of the journey.
once we got past the lower vegetation patch and found a nice way over the swampy part we landed one an island in the swamp
And finnely found the hash location after som messing with the hand gps module. Success. We took some pictures and a
small video while discussing about our journey there. Looking around a bit and sharing some water.
Once done we realized we needed to go back too. And being who we are we didn't choose to walk the same way back heh.

The marsh
Our only way was forward. Heading out for a "shorter" way back we decided to cross the marsh. There was a nice line of trees
leading straight trough the marsh and we though by the trees need to be some solid dry ground so we went there. Though we had
wrong heh. By the tree roots it was wet around the trench there was dry ground though and chest high grass heh
so we started heading long the trees in the grass. Arrived safely at what we though the other side were we came from. But just
a few min exploring we realized this as yet an other island in the swamp/marsh/grass land thingy we were in.
During our small exploration we ended up seeing a pen and some cows maybe 500 or 600 meters across the grassland thingy.
and on the other side it was maybe 300 meters to the woodland we though we came from. But decided to aim for the pen rather then
what-could-be-another-marsh-island. Almost at the pen ther was a small stream/trench with mud. it wasnt wide so we decided
to jump over it. My friend went first and made it safely. When i did it i missed the spot were he landed by maby 5 inches
and bam sank like half a meter down the mud in the trench heh got a bit panicked and tried to get my foot back but it was stuck
but taking it a bit more easy made it much easier to get free from the mud.

The pens
surrounded by electric fence we rolled under we arrived at low cut grass and solid ground. Really nice after maybe 40 min in the
grassland thingy. no nettles or other stingy plants to harress our bare legs heh. We also ran into the habitants of the pen.
A small heard of cows but headed out of the pen before we got to them. Using our nice walking sticks to keep us from getting
electrified on the fence heh. At this time we also got the gps on my iphone working again and headed along the fence of the
pen to head for the road close by. Some nettles, mud, flies, another pen with horses we were back at the road.
THough this time it was the main road were cars drive and not the woodworkers road we followed before. But it was easy
walking and had about 1.5km back to the car. Laughing talking about our first hasing adventure we arrived at the car safely
and headed home. A short stop at a local store to rehydrate and we headed home.


Conclusion
As the geohashing noob i am i didn't really prepare anything i just packed my camera and drove
away to fetch my buddy. In retrospect and as a trekker and boyscout i should have prepared a bit more
expecting the unexpected. I should also have brought a better map with terrain info and maybe even a compass. More water and maybe a snack or two would have been nice. But still geohashing is a great way to get a mini
adventure completable in a few hours. at least were i live. today it just happened to be in one of hour wood reserve here locally witch made it a bit more interesting. Will i keep geohashing? Yea it was fun. I really hope to meet some other xkcd geohashers someday. this Saturdays hash though might have been medium to high difficulty for people without experience walking through woods and such. Could potentiality be dangerous because of the pigs and the many mud holes and the possibility to get stuck. We spent a good solid 2.5 hours walking around. And had a really good time. Dont forget to watch the pictures. Also i found it to be a good and interesting way to burn some extra calories during the weekend heh =)

The End
This is the end of this adventure. Hope you had a nice read. Feedback on the writing would be appriciated. ( That is if someoen ever reads about this here heh )

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Always comming back

Even though it for me it dosnt seem it was a while since last post it actually is. Been working harder then ever to get everything up and running and such at work. Taking quite a toll on my self. Also getting hold of a car have made me a bit laze all these days working 12h a day+. But who can really blame me. Working that long then spend an other hour on just getting to and from work. You dont get any spare time left at all. Berly had any as it was.

So basically last 2 weeks or so i have been slacking with walking to work. And today i had to pay for it. I signed up for some Fitness boxing at Malmö Stadion. And man after 5 min of warming up i was almost ready to puke heh. It was a 90 minuts session and I really tried my best. And since i didnt have a sparring partner for the mits and stuff I would have been continuesly do the exercies everyone else did but twice up. But my body wouldnt hold out while my will did so I took quite a few breaks to hold out the entier session. But it was fun. Kinda nice to let some of your frustration go on a sandback or so. Heh it was also way way way harder then i thought it would be. Arms getting heavy legs ( yea there was quite a bit of kicking too. ) was also getting tierd quite fast.

In regards to the boxing part it was really fun especially if you are able to let go and just go all out. Though the few exercies i sparred with the instructor i was really afraid i would hurt her if i even pushed a little she couldnt have weighted more then 1/3 or so of my weight heh. Also learned some comboes that was to be repeated like 10 times in a row. But it was hard to keep up in the combos and the more tierd you got the more easy it was to slip a more in the sequence of hits and stuff. But so far so good. will be going back again and see if i can get better. atleast its more fun then standing on a stepping machine or somthing. Also the people there seems great nice and go for it =) So far only met one of the instrutors there but still summer times so just one session during the weeks. starting after the summer period it will be two sessions a week again. Maby can a be fit for thouse so i atleast can hold an entire session? That is atleast my first goal. Last an entire session =)


anyway this is it for this time.

ow the panflute is kinda laying low. very hard to learn without a teacher or a clue of what pipe is what note lol not really an musican but would like to be able to play =)

- Blakhouse

Friday, June 5, 2009

The impact of a smile or a hug.

For some time this bit of poetry has meant alot for me during my upbringing and my philosofy of life.

"A smile can change one's day
an hug can change one's life"

Ofcourse the basic of this "poetry" is in swedish my native language so it might not translate that well but its its a good way to look at life and how you interact with your enviroment and the people around you.

This is it for this ninja update =)

The Days fly past

Not long ago I started work at this smaller gamedeveloping company atleast it dosntfeel long ago. But counting the time its almost been 2 years soon. And finnely getting settled with everything and getting started again on smaller home projects for fun and personal development its kinda fun to see how much one has grown since last time one was developing projects at home =) Stuff one though was trublesum before one can just breeze through nowdays. But I still belive the best advice I can give to anyone is KISS(Keep It Simple, Stupid). There is seldome any real gain or advantage's to make somthing more advanced from the beginning becouse the rules of the game always are in movement.

Anyway not óther then working eating sleeping I try to rest my body and mind becouse its in the hardest phase of any gamedeveloping cycle we are in at the moment. Also i think that i am party searching for my zen state/enviroment or somthing.

Meh what should one write to become intresting or have people really read your blog? I dont have the time or effort to blog about daily news or the latest political debates or stuff like that. Noir am I an cute girl who can post tons of pics of my self and get readers because of that. g
Ant ideas or suggestions?

I had once a more development oriented blog a bit successfull due to me writing arguments and small essays about user suggestions each week. Was kinda fun but died quite fast too. due to not gaining to much readers from start.

Anyone who would dare suggest next weeks topic to me? Ill write just about anyting.

Meh I am getting tierd so I am off to sleep. Take care people.
-Blakhouse

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Back again but for how long?

An so we are back at blogging but for how long this time? It always seem to slip out of my hands in after a while. Loosing interest but why? the point of this blog is for my own good and to keep track of my self!. Not to cater the masses or anything like that.

Anyway i am on a diet again. Haivng a hard time keepting to them. But since my major weight problem is due to weight i need to control my food intake / candy intake and thats not an easy thing to do. Also I have to eat more less at each time but 2-3 more meals a day. Becouse then your bloodsuger levels are more stable and your sweettooth is a bit less of a problem.

Also my panfluting isnt going so well basically no practice since last time I poster here in this blog. Main problem is really the notes and what note is what pipe but a very nice panpipe salesman in us helped me with a start atleast.

Meh feels like my life is so "meh" right now. Not sure what to do with it. = ( Wish stuff could be a bit better.


Meh Meh I feel like a nobody. I mean this other weekend i went to a party and i didnt really have the social skills to interact with anyone and i am not intresting enough for others to make contact. And even if i do. All i have to talk about is work and food basically. Also mothers day is comming up quite fast. =( Bad memories comes around.

Hope she has an good afterlife. And hope she know's me and my brothers are well.
I miss her =(

-Blakhouse

Friday, March 6, 2009

Meh I suck at updating blogs =/

Been working my ass of past few weeks. Great fun but you can feel the workload on your body. Also during this heavy workload I some how cougth a cold flying about at work and it knocked me out cold. Been having fever dream and stuff and now I am resistant to even try to sleep again becouse I always have nightmares when I am sick.

We at work also had a community even for thouse intrested in our product was great fun. 240 people including the people from work played in a free roll Poker tournament. I am not the brightest poker player out there so I was gone quite fast ended up 138th place. I blame the cold!!! =)

Also been to the health care for an health checkup no real danger from my overweight it seems though I was at the limit for my body can take and was sent on to an health and life style specialist so sort out my life an habbits. I guess there will have to be quite alot of changess to be done. Hopefully it will be stuff I can handle. Else it will be very very very hard for me to accept the changes even if I must due to my health.

Meh also having problems to stay motivated with the panfluting due to not having any notes or an idea what note each pipe is. Kinda hard to figure that out since I am a total noob at music scores and stuff.

I guess I am off. I am writing this of my cute little pink Acer Aspire One in bed. Perfect computer for stuff like this or smaller programming tasks and stuffs.

Over and out.

Monday, February 9, 2009

New Week

All fun and happy about a new week. And this week began with an visit to the local health center for some ekg and blood pressure and while the doctor I was assigned didnt talk my native language very good his assistant / doctor trainee did and was pleasant to talk to. Anway wasnt what I expected though tomorrow morning I will have to to back and thay will drain me of blood to test it for loads of stuff like blood fats and such. Hopefully we can get some results and start me on my new course for taking care of my self. It will probobly be though and panfull but it needs to be done.


The day is suffuring its end and I think ill head for bed. Quite a long day and an other long one will follow tomorrow.

Over and out

Remind me to post more intresting stuffs in this blog will you=)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It aint easy =(

Heh it aint easy to find the time and a topic for each post and sometimes there isnt just enought time. I prefer to be alone when I write this blog and thus dosnt have much alone time nither.

Today I am posting from pinky. Pinky is my new 8.9" laptop, acer aspire one 150. I am finding it very pleasent machine. It is light just around 1kg and large enough keyboard to not have trouble typing on. As well as having a very sharp screen for viewing most kinds of digitalised video.Though havnt tried anything at 720p or 1080p but at thouse sizes the screen cant really view the video fully since its only at 1024*600 in resolution. But I like it, fills my need and just using it for small we development and some notetaking. Fun part is that its still way better then the laptop I was using when I went to programming school, and that one I got 2004.

Hah when i think about it its 5 years ago and apparently I have been working as a proffesional game developer now for almost two years kinda impressiv. Heh time flies by when you are having fun =)

Nah this has to be it for today. Take care folks.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Age, Birthdays and Pinky

Yesterday I turned 25 and I felt the age rushing over me. I had to host my own party for the family for the first time ever. Before my mother passed away she was the party host and always had so much ideas and such. I tried my best and most of my close relatives came and we had some cookies and pastry along with a cake of cream chocolate and meringue. Got some nice stuff including a framed picture of my mom. Kinda took the edge of me and I cried a bit =(. Miss her so.
Also got two boardgames that i will try to play soonish maby like next weekend or so. The whole thing lasted for like 3 hours or so. Then I played computer game all evening long and took it easy.

Been stressfull around here latly and kinda needed the whole take it easy and stare at a wall kind of thing. But with birthday partyand such it wouldnt be easy. But it turned out to be less then i though so ill try to rest and focus again.

Need to get my focus back regarding my goals around weightloss and also regarding my general health. Apparently I currently have a high blood-pressure so I really need to start taking care of me. But its hard since it involves totally changing my lifestyle and it will be really hard to not fall back into old habbits. But I am also afraid, really afraid of what is happening I am not sure how to respond to it and what to do. Beeing afraid just feeds the stress too. Kinda feel like just dissappearing from here from now from pain and more pain. Also one of the things that stresses me is the thoughs about future and what will happend if I loose my work or if my insurance wont cover stuff and so on. I am not high on cash. Everythign is so expensiv. But hopefully stuff will go better when I a raise at work. It will probobly help a ton.

The panflute practice seems to give some results. I can now produce almost all notes, still needs loads of work to make them clear but the higher notes was so hard to play at the start.

Weight isnt going well at all. Pizza and the birthday cookies and cake aint the best medecine for it. But I will fight to gather my self again and continue working. Because I rather see this as a setback then a loss.

Fighto Fighto!! ( *squeaky japanse voice* )

ow almost forgot pinky
Pinky is my new netbook. A pink Acer aspire one 150. Like it very much so far. feels so much bigger then one would think when you are writing on it. Been doing some php and homepage development today seems to work just fine. Also no problems accessing my local wireless net!! =)
Though it seems a bit hard to get it to work dual boot with debian linux on the sdhc card. Would be wonderfull if i got it to work but it dosnt seem to like it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Chameleon the followup

My intent in last post was to discuss the human chameleons but never got to that. Like always I don't tend to keep clean posts but rambling on like an idiot.

Anyway Chameleons an interesting creatures, They observe their surrounding and try to act accordingly as both an offensive and defensive manoeuvre. And by trying to blend in gain the best advantage of the situation regardless if it isn't it's most favourite situation. Humans are much alike. With de difference of environment and that humans are pack animals. And that humans being pack animals makes all the blending in so much more weird. Anyway I would consider myself one of those chameleons because I have the ability to mirror in relatively short time and regulate my own behaviour to reflect that group or individuals interest and also use the information gained to better explain or handle a conversation....

Train of though lost short version: Some people have the ablity to blend in emongs many diffrent types of people then others have due to certain knicks and traits. But having this ability also makes one wonder who one really are if your personality shifts ofthen between diffrent groups of people. Ill try to follow this up tomorrow



For spotify users:
http://open.spotify.com/track/1guFXboiy7jlJ2fgh3MMeq
Found it toda kinda odd song but I like it! =) Apparently was on some Schalger a few (30 or so years ago ) By the artist/group Teach-In


Man i have a reallly hard time to finnish of the blogs. Usally I come up with somthing to write then when I start to write it somthing else comes up and then I lose my points / or train of thought.

Doing my panflute exercies daily but still not good at the tunes at the higher end of the scale. Hard time to get a clear note from the pipes =(.

Weight is a mess. Need to have my birthday and start to focus again =(

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The lazy Chameleon

Meh been a bit lazy with updating I feel. You yes you are a great comfort to have for support with all that's is going on. Been much at work at home and with everything. Had an afterwork beer with some of the guys this friday with food and some pool. Was fun luckly it was the payday too so we all could afford it. Heh beeing a small company gamedev dosnt always provide alot of cash but hopefully times will turn!! =)

Also I recived my Panflute today. Heh can play most notes but some of the higher ones I cant seem to get to work. But i guess its all about practise. Dont know how to plan the panflute learning though. I have some exelent help from youtube. But after that I dont know. How much time should I spend on these exercises? half an hour a day? then after that I guess I should start to learn witch note is witch and try to play somthing. Donno what songs that is actually panflute friendly =) Any ideas would be greatly appriciated.

In the weight section of this newyears resolution I am fighting hard. And I do have succumbed to the temptations of candy and unhealthy food. But walking to and from work is still going strong.
Like now I am writing this blog and eating some panpizza. But ill try to keep it at half only. My main goal is try to build an lifestyle I can support and not just fallback whenever I am done with the diet. But I am working on my focus as much as I can. Also I try to allow myself some candy at the weekends as akind of a carrot to worktowards. Just keep it smaller then I used to.


This is it for now. Actually have more I would like to post but I think ill post that in a seperate post. I wonder if i write I to much. Seem very selfish when I reread my posts.

Anyway have an great saturday night.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Who is testing my faith and why?

This is the third time in a year I have been stopped to help push a car a few hundred meters along some road or across some circle or major traffic light crossover. Very stressful and all three times it has been at the end of the current direction ( aka almost at work or almost at home ) meaning i have had 3 km hard walk before the push witch makes me totally exhausted when it comes up. Because I still weight in at 150kg meaning my stamina aint the best.

But at the same time each of these times there have beeen numerus people passing by not helping. Why is everyone so into what thay are doing that thay cant just stop by and ask if they need help or anything like that?


Anyway all three times i have helped. It is nice to feel helpfull and see other people smile.
Kinda makes me remeber the movie/book "Pay it forward". To change the world with a only a few steps per person. Just by reaching out and help thouse who cant help them selfs. The result would be an utopian world Because at the end there would hopefully not be anyone left who was in more then thay could handle.

If you havent read the book or seen the movie I would recomend it gladly. One of the few movies that actually thouched me to the core.

With a hard walk and some car pushing behind me I kinda feel the need my body has for physical workout. I am a large guy. with large bodymass/bone structure. And I guess I should take better care of my body.


Oh btw the season 2 of "The guild" has started and is up to 7 episodes. Great great series just love the composition and the characters. And Felicia Day is hawt too!! =)


Also today I put in my order on the panpipe. It will be an bamboo Panpipe with 15 pipes G-G. Around 120$ Hopefully it will be good enough or at least good enough to learn on. When one knows a bit more one might actually know what to look for and such =)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ocarina on the iPhone!

Allthought i have known about this fun app for a while but took me an while to get it but yesterday i came around and bought it. And it was about 100 times more fun and working perfectly. Was very easy to get going with an very extensiv song notes on their hompage. Been training to play x files. I think i should make that one for panpipe too. Nice and quite simple tune.

On an sad note, an collegue is going back to school feels kinda sad. Plesant and fun guy to work with. Me and an other collgue bought hin än clone a willy for leaving gift. Kinda fun and all the guys at work laughed and got some fun out of it. Not likly he will forget us now. ;).

Ill consider this Day an failure on the weight apartment since i ate both some chocolate and pepsi. :(

The ocarina i see as practise and fun till i get my new real panpipe.

Anyway its late and long Day tomorrow. So you tkae care.

Over and out.
BH

Monday, January 12, 2009

Minimize, Maximize

Is there anything that is optimal for every given situation?
I think not. So the big question should one be content with that or should one work to improve so called "min maxing"? or should one be content with what you got?

And in regards to this I guess its easy to become ones worst enemy. Thinking to much on each situation. On the other hand given time to actually think through might stop stupid mistakes. So a balance is to be archived. Questions I get regarding this I usually answer do whatever suits you best for now, or do whatever you find most fun. Mostly based on the persons situation and question. Because for me life is about fun, and one can use one's creativity to alter most situations to fun.

In today's world everyone try to Maximise profit minimise expenses and just become rich regardless on whoever thay step on. Its very understandble but at the same time not. I cant say I have an good sallery I can almost say I have a bad one but still not. But still I and content with my current situation and living. Sure there are stuff I want or would fancy. But do I need them? no not really. I rather look at that stuff as rewards for progressing life. And stuff in it self requiers time to use meaning I wouwld have to maximise my own time witch I dont want since I am an casual adventurer.

Meh like always I am not sure were I am going with this.

I cant continue this sorry. Maby some later.


Weight update.
Gone quite good some bad.
Been a tad much pepsi latly.
Also we still had some holyday candy / cookies that was eaten
and also I bad a tad much candy this satureday. But other then that it is going quite good.
Have made smaller portions I am walking 6km a day. And I am keeping my hands off candy when I go to the store. Hopefully it will continue like this and it should yield atleast 20kg off in weight. At a time I should feel stronger and widen my work on weight. The ultimate goal would be to fit XXL cloths because then I could shop in normal stores again!!.

Panpipe update.
A friend of mine helped me find a store that sold them. Not really an easy instrument to find. I will order one next sallery thay are about 100$ so. I will also need to find some guide/notes that are suitble for newbee training. And find the ultimate goal for this year. An full song I should be able to play in one go!!. if you have any suggestions drop it in the comments.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Like sands of the hourglass are the days of our life's

Ok the rodent wheel began to spin again. Started working yesterday after 2.5 weeks of winter holiday kinda nice to be doing somthing atleast. Sitting at home is kinda boring.

Oh why is it like that when you are free you dont want to do all the stuff you know you need to do but while you work you want to fix your appartment travel and have adventures?

I guess my problem this time off was that i didnt have gf at home. And was kinda stunned of how lonly one can feel when get to used to having someone around. So didnt happend much. Low cashflow and no car makes travel around to friends and stuff a bit harder too. But i also got the time to be for my self and think and focus for the challange ahead of me. I need to take my weight problem seriusly and fight to remain sane and dont fall back to old habbits. But so far so good. though only 8 days into the new year and i have already sinned. Thoughi will allow me some sin( candy cookies and such) because totally shutting it out will only backfire witch i have prooven to my self before. But I havnt bought any candy or cookies so far and that feels good. Also about halved my dinner portions and eating som yoghurt for breakfast and 3oclock food.
Trying to keep an solid 3 hour between foodintakes too. Making sure the digestion is up and running almost the full waking day.

Enough rambling about this. And i think its enough for today too. Gonna play some games with my girl now! =)

Just wishing i can keep this up. I want to loose weight. I want to drive MC, I want more adventure!

-Blakhouse

Monday, January 5, 2009

Crossroads..

Gf is back now partly why its 2 days since i blogged When she got back we got pizza. Not the best of meals for me but still a meal. Ate half the pizza and saved half the pizza for dinner the day after.
As part of my new mentality to each small portions of food. So far so good. And so far candy hasnt really been a problem either. I just try to avoid to buy candy such for now.

I feel greatly more calm now that gf is home and I can finely get some peace when sleeping. Almost turned back my sleeping habits now.

Wherever we are wherever we go we as humans are bound to meet many crossroads during our life's. Mostly because our society is littered with them also because the human mentality want the options, we as humans want to choose. But there are choices in life that we dont want. Like saving my doughter or my son from the burning house and so on. Sure it aint bound to happend and the best choice is to prevent the situtation all together. Witch in it self isnt always an option due to the cash flow of that person.

Why am I blabering about this now? Becouse I just faced one of thise crossraods. The doctors said to me that if I continue with my old/current lifestyle i would become an patient of the heart and bloodvessel doctoers in a not to distant future. So he gave me the option to continue or listening to him. Its kinda nice but on the other hand if I was just a tad weeker and didnt have my gf would i be able to stand up aginst the cravings for "bad food" and candy on my own?

Each body each living breathing entity of this planet is an biological machine and while doctors have proven to prevent/rebuild/replace much ot this machine there are many parts that isnt replaceble. We all need to take care of our selfs and our surroundings and eachother if we are going to survive. Because not all can care for them self not all have the strength to face the reality not all have the economics to support health.



My self made the choise to focus on my self this year to deleop my self and maby finnely feel good about my self. We will see.

As soon as my scale pick up my weight again I will start writing it here. Hopefully it will motivate my self too.

I guess I am out of here for now. take care.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Rough start..

Had a very rough start on this year. Today i spent 4 hours at the emergency for tense and numb left arm, shoulder and breast/heart region.

But hopefully i am here to stay and keep blogging i think i really will need it if i am to succeed this journey for an fit body.

Soon the christmas holydays is over and its back to work again and hopefully i can put my mind somewere else. And we got an 24/7 workout place just around the corner so maby i should join them. But i rather play squash or some other activitie. I prefer to engage in stuff rather then just lifting weights.

Anyway i need to turn back the day again before work starts so ill try to hit the bed early.
Anyway I hope this night will be more plesent the the night before becouse that one was horrible. And as well i dont want to have the same nightmare becouse the one i had last night was really really bad =(.

And tomorrow jan 3 my gf gets back home again it will be a real releaf for me in my current state.

Cheerios folks

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New year again.... They just keep comming.

Late night blog from the phone so it will be short this time i promise.

This year i have basically three objectivs.
First find my self spiritually.
Second learn some panpipe
Third find my self physically( is it even a word? )
Bonus would be taking mc drivers licens.

I kinda feel lost even though i am living my Dream. I am not sure who i am or whom ive become.

I still have my weight problem so i need to start my journey by concentrating on my weight.
And to start this journey i have spent some time prepering me mentally for it. It will be though at first but i know for sure that it sill ease up the furter down this road i go. But it will require much of me.

Anyway batteries are running low i will write more about this

Best regards
Blakhouse